Mick Foley, Royal Rumble, Ring Ka King and much more!!

A Swerve Rant

(This was written before Royal Rumble)

I can’t understand the WWE’s love for the old-timers. Why does it keep bringing those who have retired for years? Why do they have to rely on the established stars to get the ratings hike? Why don’t they establish new stars instead of bringing in the old ones and giving them so much hype that the younger ones look dumb? To add insult to the injury, Mick Foley has now been added in the Royal Rumble match. The match that can give you a good enough rub by being there just for a second. He is there to take away one very important spot of the total 30 spots available. There are already rumoured returns of the stars that can actually wrestle but haven’t been wrestling the whole year long and now we have to deal with this. There are wrestlers over there in the WWE that work their asses of to earn whatever money they earn and suffer injuries without even being put on televised segments, let alone the televised matches. There are Superstars there that have been working hard every week to be seen on the internet by an audience much much smaller than even the TNA Impact Wrestlings’. This was their golden opportunity and now it is going to be taken up by Mick Foley. And what is he going to do with his Rumble spot anyways? Remember that last Rumble he participated in as a surprise entrant? He eliminated Randy Orton and along with Randy, he eliminated himself without even thinking for a second what was that he was giving up. That is the value of the Rumble spot in his eyes. Not even worth of a second thought – just throw it away like a good habit.

And all this for what? For letting his two children see him perform? Oh come on Foley, your career is a storied one, you can show them all the tapes of the wrestling events and vignettes you have been a part of and you can even get all of those videos for free from the WWE management. Hell, you can even force or persuade them to make a DVD for yourself, which can be a career DVD now that all the three organisations that were big part of your career are owned by them. Why do you want to kick someone’s stomach to be a star in your children’s’ eyes?

Why would anyone of the WWE Universe care for that? Why would they even anticipate your entry in the Rumble when it is known from the get go that you are not going to win this? I mean, sure, you are not going to win this, right? You will come in and just like that, go out of the Rumble.

“ No no that’s good, that’s good and you know what? That could happen. I could walk in, I could get thrown over the top rope, be eliminated and look at it as the biggest mistake of my life. That could happen. That’s one of the elements I love about the Rumble, you can’t predict it. There’s an element of danger, even....even magic in the air. But who’s to say that things may not turn out to be different? Who’s to say that I might not draw a number in my favour, who’s to say that the same magic that existed on three different occasions when I became the WWE Champion won’t be present on that night at the Royal Rumble? You see I do, I do want to perform in front of my two children. Mickey and Hughie would love to see Dad give his very best. But if you think I am only in there to participate and be one of the thirty members, you are looking at me in the wrong way. You see my aspirations are a little more than ambitious. I’m not just in the Royal Rumble to be in it, I’m in the Royal Rumble to win it.”

-       Early contender for the most underrated promo of the year

There is this intensity, intensity that he always brings out by going round and round and then gradually coming to the point he is trying to make. I don’t know whether the dialogues were written, but after this amazing shining promo of Mick, what did Dolph do? Did he gave the same level of intensity back? Did he fumble?

He didn’t do either of it, or in a better way, he did both of it. You see, that few seconds of silence that Dolph had after this rumbling from Mick Foley and then coming up with ‘That’s great Mick, that’s what every Superstar wishes and aims to do......’ .....don’t look at the words because they weren’t really that important. He understood that Mick had just turned the entire crowd on. He knew and understood that what Mick Foley said was indeed great, the emotions that he showed were right out of his heart. And he did the right thing to turn the pressure a few notches down - And then pumping it up big time by ending it with, ‘I’m going to explain you this as straight as I can, Mick. It’s over. Go home. Buy a new shirt, eat a salad and just GO AWAY.’

There were some great lines in there by Dolph. The comedy ones were really great. The stuff about, ‘Hope Daddy didn’t eat our lunch today’ was some stuff even your enemy would laugh at.

Mick Foley won this thing – this duel – but Dolph didn’t just lose out either. But I think there is still something lacking there, there is still some steps that are to be taken by Dolph towards perfection. May be a lot of what is lacking in him is just as a result of the WWE booking 101 where the person winning isn’t really winning it. May be he will get that once booked well or in other words, when booked as a face. I am not able to identify this, this...for lack of a better word, this imperfection that Dolph has that stops me from liking him that much, but I have a long guess that it may be that intensity – the one which he has shown, and did show here too, but still not pumped it up full time.

Coming back to Mick Foley – he is such an intense guy. It’s no secret that he is no longer a wrestler that he was (“Was never that good to begin with”) – his small fight that took place in the Raw proved that. But he still is the damn best promo guy that ever can be.

THE TNA SMALL BROTHER

This Saturday the first episode of the show ‘Ring ka King’ which is India based aired. I am excited to see this.

Last year one wrestling show of Indian background was shown on the same channel, ‘Colors’, but I had missed the show for the most part. Whatever I had seen, was very very phony. The show was based on the concept that an Indian team had gone on the tour of the Africa and had to wrestle against the opposition team. I wasn’t aware of the any of the wrestlers there and didn’t find the action to be crisp. Though, whatever action I had seen, wasn’t all that bad – just not crisp enough – looked too amateurish.

This year, it began with a bang. Harbhajan Singh, the Indian Cricketer and one of the finest bowlers in the world hosted the first show and introduced us to the various wrestlers and even introduced the ‘Ring Ka King’ World Championship.

There is something you need to know about the Sport that is Cricket and the importance of being an Indian Cricketer. This country – India – my country – literally eats, breathes and lives Cricket. That’s really the only sport where we have continuously excelled. Sure there are some other Sports and Sportsmen who have represented our country well and brought some championship – like Leander Paes recently and for a better part of the last decade, but they haven’t been loved as much as the Cricketers. Cricketers are the most loved people in this country.

And they are the most hated too. Damn, our Cricket team just got squashed in a 4 match series the worse way than Alex Riley got defeated by Brodus Clay. This appearance by Harbhajan Singh will surely get some much needed eyeballs for the show – but Man – would that guy have got some heavy beeps beeps by the whole load of Indian House Hold!

What is the most exciting thing about this Project is that they have added some really good names to their roster and it shows that they see a bright future in India for this business. The crowd at the stadium/auditorium was huge - 1000 or something which is high as compared to the Indian Standards when you take into consideration that Wrestling is not so popular in here.

The Roster

Chavo Guerrero – introduced as the nephew of Legendary Eddie Guerrero. There will be some exciting matches possible with this underrated performer.

Dr Nick Dinsemore – He had been one of my favourite wrestlers as ‘Eugene’. Here, he is a Doctor who was thrown out of the college because he always used to do some weird experiments in the lab. His trademark foreign object is going to be – an injection! He has some of those Eugene-ish characteristics and mannerisms. I liked his old school wrestling in the WWE back then, he didn’t seem to do much in the ring this night though.

Sonjay Dutt – I have heard a lot about him. I have heard that he is pretty good and was one of the important players of TNA. I am yet to see any of his work though - which remains the biggest of the crimes that I have committed so far in my life, apart from not studying well enough. His character and mannerisms are quite – silly, amusing and mad-ish.

Mahabali Veera – He is from Punjab. Punjab is sort of like Texas of US (from what I have seen from movies). Hot-headed people. It is also the place from where numerous war heroes of India have come from. Any one from Punjab is going to be well received and that is proved here as he instantly becomes a fan favourite. He wrestled Nick Dinsemore. His work isn’t all that great as the Powerbomb that he gave to Nick was sloppy. But some of the punches and the striking offence was quite impressive.

Scott Steiner – He was introduced as the biggest Badman on the earth. He cut his usual promo which I didn’t understand but enjoyed.

Matt Morgan – He was introduced as the most important part of the show, the seven footer. Harbhajan Singh even said that he is a fan of him.

Brutus Magnus – He instantly began the feud with Matt Morgan on Morgan being considered as the most likely winner of the Championship belt. Apparently, Magnus, Stenier and Sonjay Dutt are a stable and there is some ‘Boss’ too.

There was American Adonis too. With his Adonis Lock. You know, the Master Lock. His manager, ‘Shera’ seems well-built and may become a wrestler going forward.

I couldn’t continue watching this as my nephew decided that it was a good time to watch Mr Bean.

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Royal Rumble Thoughts

In one word – Underwhelming.

The three announcers each getting a spot was a mistake. The stuff with the announcers has never been funny and WWE can’t seem to be on the same page with IWC on this. There were three precious spots that could have been used for some better workers. I liked the Jerry Lawler entry, it was a nice touch. Booker T stuff was okay. Michael Cole stuff was funny too. Individually, their performances were quite good but when you consider the overall effect that it had on the Rumble match, you can’t help but to get angry.

Jim Duggan stuff was nice and crowd seemed to be behind him.

I didn’t find the Mick Foley stuff interesting. (Swerve!!!)

The Miz wasn’t made in the 43+ minutes that he was in the ring. His initial promo was not a word different from what he has been saying for past two years. He wasn’t seen doing much of anything else in the Rumble match. I am disappointed in him. People had been berating Alberto Del Rio for the ‘Destiny’ promos where in fact he had stopped using that for months. Miz just completely underperformed in the match. I am wondering whether the spark that we had seen in him during last year and a probable future star – was a mistake?!

Cody Rhodes did some eventful things and was involved in the elimination of both Mick Foley and Jim Duggan – main eventers for the night. I think he utilised his time pretty well.

Dolph Ziggler was nice while he lasted and took that slam from Kharma like a Champ. But I didn’t like the fact that Big Show eliminated him so early – well not so early, but he should have been in the final four and final three.

The lack of John Cena, Kane, Zack Ryder hurt the match. Primo, Epico and Hunico needn’t be there in the Rumble either. They did some impressive moves here and there but there was no need of all the three being included there especially knowing that a certain Canadian Wrestler was ready to Rumble.

May be Miz could have shown some spark had he and Cody not been eliminated at the same time by the Big Show. It was just too anti-climatic.

The Final Four and Final Three lasted for a total of how many seconds? That was clearly a big big letdown. If there was anything more disappointing than this during the whole event – it was nothing. The match just lost the appeal by so many quick eliminations. Miz, Cody, Dolph, Big Show and Randy Orton in under a minute or two. Poor, poor booking.

Final Two was the highlight of the night. I loved how Chris Jericho’s legs came so close to the floor every time. It was almost as if he was deliberately doing the same. The near falls (You saw what I did there?) were very interesting. The exchange between the two of various moves was quite entertaining.

I think it’s a nice choice they made. Sheamus has been on a roll for over six months now and that too without doing much of anything. It will be exciting to see what path he chooses. I think we haven’t seen the scenario of the Royal Rumble winner changing brands for quite some time. I think it occurred in 2004 the last time and probably the only time? It would be quite different than the usual course we all are predicting. And maybe this is the risk that the WWE might take?

Dolph Ziggler is moving out of the title picture, clearly. If Chris Jericho is finalised as the person to face CM Punk, then I want Dolph Ziggler to be added in the too. I am sure both CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler can move upwards in popularity by feuding with each other the same way that The Rock and Austin did.

SmackDown Main Event

Three people are involved in the main event of the SmackDown as recently as today morning (Yesterday night for most of you). Add the returning Randy Orton. Now add the Royal Rumble winner Sheamus. Add Wade Barret even if you want to add Randy Orton. Now you add the person who made the summer of 2011 worth every dime that you spent on it – Christian. Now that Mark Henry is injured, subtract him. Since Randy Orton and Wade Barret are involved in a feud against each other, subtract them too. Add Shaq and now subtract both Shaq and Big Show. Let Sheamus be the one who has been sent on the search of ‘X’ and so he is subtracted too. What do we have? We have a Wrestlemania match! One can always dream!

Regardless of the wide gap between the permutations and combinations of the card for Wrestlemania between the optimists and the pessimists, and regardless of how underwhelming Royal Rumble was, the Elimination Chamber is surely going to be a great show. Especially with the Smackdown brand as there are indeed so many believable players right now and a title change can very well take place at that event and possibly any of the six men that will be involved in the Elimination Chamber match can walk out of the Chamber – either the World Heavyweight Champion or the Number 1 Contender for the same.

Tag Team Championship

When the USOs and the Hart Dynasty began feuding with each other, we thought the dark ages of the no meaning tag team championships have come to an end. The team of Santiono Marrela and Vladimir Kozlov also gave us the same hope. Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre. We lost all hopes.

Then after a long time, a tag team had been formed between Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne. It seemed like they were on the verge of making the tag titles relevant again. It became clear soon after, however, that they were not going to make the tag team wrestling relevant again. They had no damn competition. Even Awesome Truth could not make much of an impact. And then Evan Bourne did his thing. We lost all hopes.

Then Evan Bourne came back. There was a team of Colons and another team of Electric Bikers. And then a title change took place at a house show. We were all so excited and even Jim Ross mentioned that this is the next step in making the tag titles relevant again. May be that is how we can bring back the prestige to the titles by making every show count, by adding that element of surprise and unpredictability. Until we found out the reason for the title change. We lost all hopes.

There is another hope. SanToshi. Or YoshiTino. Whichever way you like. I know it is not within their capacity to make the whole division relevant again. But they can provide a much needed fresh air to the tag team scene. They won’t be putting on those five star classic matches as they will hardly be given any time. But whatever little time they get, can be utilised well as the Colons are great athletes. The Hunico Kapacho Team can also put on some moves. Yoshi has his kicks and Santino has his Cobra. USOs have their Haka. But the most important part is that Santino will always be in some sort of storyline. If not against others, may be among themselves. Whichever way it goes, it will be entertaining while it lasts.

And then the step towards greater good can be taken which is – either make some investment in the tag team storylines, add the Kings of Wrestling and other such tag teams to the roster and make them fight with passion – or let the tag titles take the same route the Criserweight Championship took. Go into oblivion, never to be found again. That is after it is won by Hornswoggle.

A Wild Guess

Finally, there is a wild guess that I want to make. It is concerning the ongoing feud between Kane and John Cena.

And my guess is – Zack Ryder will face Kane at Wrestlemania. Zack Ryder is not going to ask for a United States Title anytime soon. I am pretty sure that it is the revenge that he is going to opt for instead of the ‘Pretty much irrelevant’ Championship belt. And it all sets quite beautifully.